I recently wrote a post on my feelings for Kyoto Animation, and I really wanted to keep it with me here on this blog as well, so I copied and pasted it here from my tumblr.
Tumblr post
It’s been a long time since my last post here, but something struck me hard the other day that I haven’t been able to come to terms with. For me, I thought I’d be transitioning into my 27 year old life rather normally, as every year is, but I never thought that something so horrific could happen 2 days before my birthday. It was really...shocking to say the least. After I heard about it, I couldn’t stop reading about it at 3am in my bed wondering what happened, how it could have happened, why would someone do something like that and how people were reacting to it. Every time I read a bit more information, I realised that I was crying. Honestly, it was a weird thing to experience. You read about so many tragedies on the news every day, yet I don’t think there was a piece of news that hit me as much as this one did. It honestly felt very personal to me, and I just couldn’t fathom the reality of it and the repercussions of it. It was a crazy thing to feel and I don’t think I can ever come to terms with it.
Tbh, it’s still kind of weird for me. I’ve been watching anime since I was 12, and really, it was only recently that I felt like I actually cared about what studio made what anime, and looked up the works the ones I liked did. KyoAni was one I always heard about and knew in the back of my mind as the one with all the fluffy happy stuff and the emotional stuff, and I always thought the anime they did were really cute. Tbh, I’ve only watched a few of their series but I’ve always known about all the series they had made, ever since I was a child. When I think back to the past, I remember all the hype surrounding Kanon and how emotional it was. I remember the mixed feelings about Air, but it was still nevertheless beautiful. I remember thinking Haruhi was weird in the first minute of the show and not appreciating it when I was young, yet loving the novels as an adult. I remember absolutely loving Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu and rewatching it so many times because of how hilarious it was. I remember trying to watch K-On and Hyouka but it just wasn’t my thing. I remember volunteering at SMASH and all the girls were fangirling over an anime called Free! I remember watching Musaigen no Phantom World thinking it was pretty but that’s all. I remember teasing my friend about how much he likes that little dragon girl from Kobayashi. I remember watching Violet Evergarden with no expectations, yet I was enraptured by its’ beautiful animation and the idea of how it wasn’t weird of me to think that communication through letters are such a wonderful thing. I remember watching A Silent Voice in the theatres twice for different people, yet enjoying it so much because of how much it touched my heart and how well the story communicated to my heart. I’m a person that dreads watching the same thing twice, especially in the span of a week, and I don’t even like movies lol, but A Silent Voice just hit me so hard and I couldn’t forget about it.
But the one anime that probably changed me the most was Clannad. I’m the one that liked the first season more than the second haha, but ever since the first episode of it, I couldn’t help but be drawn to it. The music, the characters, everything really touched me and I absolutely loved it. Honestly, it was Clannad that made me venture into visual novels, and it was Clannad that made me play the same visual novel twice because I loved all the characters and all the routes, all the emotions and all their growth. If KyoAni never made the anime for it, I never would have opened my eyes to such a great story and all the other great visual novels I’m experiencing now. I think it’s an understatement to say that KyoAni was a part of my childhood because really, without me knowing or realising, I grew up with KyoAni. None of their works that I enjoyed were ever...forgettable even if I didn’t enjoy it as much as others did. It really pains me to think about how many of the people who brought such happiness and such emotions into my life won’t be able to experience the same things anymore. It pains me to think about the innocence in creating such works that change the lives of people to be met with such heartbreak. It pains to think about it and I hate to think about it. But I still will, because in the end, KyoAni’s works have so much rewatch value, they are things that have touched my heart and that I would definitely watch again. So, even if things may not ever be the same again, the thought that KyoAni is already doing their best to stand up again, I want to be more positive about things too and cheer them on and support them. I honestly don’t know how to end this, but I guess I just really wanted to thank all the people who worked so hard on these works that made my memories so precious to me even today. Thank you.
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